the brighter side of things

Thy friends do stand by thee

2010-03-21T14:17:00.002-06:00

Doctrine and Covenants

Section 121

Verse 9

"Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."

The influence and effect that friends can have in a person's life are remarkable. I have seen and felt this in my own life, as well as the lives of members in my family and other people. It's amazing what a group of people can do for each other over the course of time.

President Thomas S. Monson, then the First Counselor in the First Presidency (now President) of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in speaking to young adults across the world, provided this information about friends:

"In a survey which was made in selected wards and stakes of the Church, we learned a most significant fact. Those persons whose friends married in the temple usually married in the temple, while those persons whose friends did not marry in the temple usually did not marry in the temple. The influence of one’s friends appeared to be a more dominant factor than parental urging, classroom instruction, or proximity to a temple.

We tend to become like those whom we admire. Just as in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic account “The Great Stone Face,” we adopt the mannerisms, the attitudes, even the conduct of those whom we admire—and they are usually our friends. Associate with those who, like you, are planning not for temporary convenience, shallow goals, or narrow ambition but rather for those things that matter most—even eternal objectives."

When I listened to this talk, titled "Decisions Determine Destiny", I felt a very real sense of applicability in my life. The friends I have made thus far in my life have shaped, influenced, and guided me, and have very much helped shape who I am today. I know that without their love and support, I would find myself unhappy and without much direction as to the important things in this world.

I cannot express enough the appreciation and love I have for my friends. I have been beyond spoiled when it comes to the people in my life. My hope is that I can echo the friendship that they so freely and lovingly give. I owe them much of my success.

As I grow older and our lives start spreading apart and around the world, I hope each of my treasured friendships will continue develop, grow, and be strengthened. What is life without the support and love of your friends?

I want to say again that I love my friends, and I hope they know that I love them too...

you might have been, but not now

2010-03-13T19:04:00.000-07:00

To the the three or four people that read what I write, sorry not writing as often as I have in the past. As you can see from my last post, I'm still mourning the loss of the Olympic games from my life. I'm still making adjustments in my life to overcome it!

Now...

Recently, I've had the thought of change on my mind. Not pennies, dimes, or nickels, or a change of clothes. The kind of change I've had on my mind is the kind of change I've seen in my life in the past five years. The kind of change that makes the difference between happiness and misery, success and failure.

I used to be somebody else in the not too distant past. Immaturity, shallowness, carelessness, and a lack for focus were all characteristics I carried around with me. I knew that I had been taught to be better, but I just didn't care for any of it. Thankfully, when I was faced with the choice of making some big changes in my life, I made the right one to help me turn my life around and be the person I knew I should be and could be.

I am still very far from being perfect or having all the answers and characteristics I want in my life. But the fact that I'm where I'm at right now is a testament to the ability that each of us has to change. We are always going to be faced with difficult decisions and challenges that are going to stretch us farther than we thought possible. We're going to cry, hurt, and be miserable at points in our lives. It has been hard and it will continue to be hard.

However, with that being said, we can still be happy. We can still love ourselves and love others. We're all capable of making the right choice and finding happiness in it. If we're willing to sacrifice the easy, near-sighted way, for the long, difficult, yet eternally rewarding path, we will find that we will be more happy and satisfied with our lives.

So to anybody reading this that knows they need to make a change in their lives, do it. Make that change to become a better person. You'll find that you're capable of a lot more than you thought...

Adieu Vancouver

2010-02-28T21:54:00.000-07:00

I love the Olympics games. They are, in my opinion, the highest competitive athletic event in the world. As a proud American, I take great pride in the success we had as a country at these Vancouver 2010 Winter Games.

I'm proud of our athletes and the way they represented the United States, bringing home an Olympic record 37 medals. It's amazing to see that happen, considering that in the Nagano 1998 Winter Games, the United States netted a mere 13 total medals. I think the best is yet to come for the United States in the future as we look towards the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi, Russia.

Now we wait another two years until the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London, England. I can't wait to hear "The Star-Spangled Banner" played again, again, and again.

Adieu Vancouver

a different kind of letter

2010-02-09T22:11:00.002-07:00

I wanted to share a portion of an email I wrote to my best friend Elder Jon Grether who's serving a mission for the Lord in the south Chicago area.

I've changed some names and have edited a few things for the privacy of others, including myself. However, I really feel that what I wrote to him best describes the thoughts in my head right now.

The letter picks up after I have described some of the recent events in my life and how they're somewhat taxing.

"So, as you can see (sort of), I've had a lot on my mind. On top of those things, lately I have really struggled with my happiness and my interest in the Gospel. It was difficult for me to be having thoughts questioning my testimony and the existence of some things in my life. I wasn't sure about a lot of things and wondered if I'd ever really recover spiritually, physically, and so on. However, today seemed to be different about life. I'm not sure what it was, but I really felt that it was the prayers of others and the love of Heavenly Father being poured into my life. Despite my frustrations and dissatisfaction with some things, I felt fine working there and felt that I had done good things and while things may not have worked to to my liking, I really felt that I was doing the right things and that it would work out. I went to Institute tonight as well and was really struck by what my teacher said. The lesson was on Chastity and being ready for marriage and he talked about Joseph of Egypt and his challenge with Potiphar's wife. He talked about how the Lord chastened him mightily throughout his life, being betrayed by his own brothers, doing everything right, being wrongly accused, and thrown in prison, only to rise high and mighty and save his family from the famine. I felt that I related well to that in my current situation, not entirely, but to a degree. Joseph did all that was asked of him and was still met with great challenge. I know that I need to press forward with faith in the things that I'm doing and trust in the Lord that all will be right and well with me.

As the lesson continued my teacher spoke about how men should honor their Priesthood, and the simplest set of words struck my heart like you wouldn't believe. He talked about how he was proud to see that RM's would make themselves a curfew. How they would set limits on how late they would stay out with a young lady. At that point, I really realized the error of my ways with Crystal. I felt that I had done much better than I had with Jennifer, and really struggled to know what I did wrong with Crystal. It couldn't have been more clearer to me than it was to me tonight. I had not honored my Priesthood and respected the values that Crystal had by staying with her way too late into the early hours of the morning on more than one occasion. Not that I had made any serious wrong choice, but the fact I was there, put each of us in a situation that might have compromised our values and care for each other. At that point, the Spirit spoke more loudly to me than I can remember in the past while, urging me to ask for her forgiveness of things. I had toyed with the idea, but pride seemed to win those battles. But not this time. It reminded me of the feeling I had when I knew the Church was true, and that I was special and had a mission here on earth as part of God's plan. It was that powerful and undeniable. I fulfilled a previous appointment that I had with the Stake Presidency regarding my BYU endorsement, and as soon as I could I called her about it, asking her for her forgiveness. Thankfully, she met that request and with the help of the Lord, I was able to follow through on His request for me, to seek her favor.

Powerful stuff my friend. Again, I really feel that this was the result of the prayers and love of others. It made me more grateful for my friends, family, and for the Savior. It's all very real Jon. I hope you know that as I know it right now.

I hope I haven't taken too much time up with my letter, but I hope it serves some purpose in bringing about people to the Gospel in your area. I love you. I eagerly look forward to our reunion! Take care and God speed.

Your friend,

Zachary Miller"

thoughts, names, and lists

2010-01-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight was one of those nights where I had to write down the thoughts that were going through my head so I can remember them at a later point in time when I will surely need them.

I'm currently taking two classes at the Orem Institute (for those who don't know, these classes are religious and focus on the teachings of Jesus Christ and how they will help us improve our everyday life through living them). The classes are: Preparing for an eternal marriage and Teachings of the living Prophets. Tonight was the marriage class, hence, my feeling urgent to make sure I wrote down what was going on in my brain for future reference.

I won't detail the entire class lecture because lots of things were discussed and to tell you the truth, I don't remember entirely everything (lots of off topic stuff I thought, but whatever). But the one thing that stuck out to me the most is the understanding and significance of how a woman takes upon herself the name of her husband. On the surface it's a traditional way of going about things and it's just what a woman does as part of getting married. But it's far more than that, and it all revolves around the Savior.

When I was baptized I made covenants with God. I took upon myself the name of Christ, covenanting to be a representative for Him at all times, in all things, and in all places. When I was ordained an Elder in the High Priesthood of God, I took upon myself further covenants to magnify that power that was bestowed upon me as an Elder and representative of Jesus Christ. I then made more covenants when I received my Endowment in the Temple. All of these covenants I have made bring great joy in my life and bring my closer to Jesus Christ. During each of these events and throughout my life I have tried to incorporate more the attributes of Christ, doing more of what the Savior did, and trying harder to follow the example the Savior set. All of these things have slowly and continued to become part of me. They have become (and will continue to become) associated with my name.

At some point in the future, I will walk out of the doors of the Temple, married to the love of my forever for time and all eternity. During that marriage ceremony she will have taken my name upon her, becoming my wife. In doing that, she is telling me, that she is taking my name upon her, because I have taken the name of Christ upon myself, and through the Priesthood power I hold, and who I have covenanted to represent and stand in place of, she can receive blessings and support from Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ. What a responsibility I have to her when we become married...

Now, here I am, a newly minted 21 year old. Am I ready for that kind of responsibility? That's an interesting question that I know many young adults ask themselves. For me, the answer isn't yes or no. I try to answer that with my actions (my following of the teachings of Jesus Christ) and with the person I have become and continue to become. The best I can do is prepare for that day, for that special woman in my life. I don't know when it will all come together. I don't know how it will happen. But I know that I need to be on a steady path of progression for when that event does take place. Will I be perfect we get married? By no stretch of the imagination! I just have to make sure that I've done all I can to be the best person I can be.

People make lots of lists about what they want in a spouse or girlfriend. They talk about what bugs them about their girlfriend or wife. It all seems so petty to me. I try to focus on my own list, but not for her. My list are things that I want to be for her. I'm easy to please when it comes to girl. I don't have a specific physical feature that I'm more attracted to than another. I'm seldom bothered by the little things girls do. I simply try to give them my heart and accept theirs in return. Nothing else matters to me. If I have that love and commitment from that special girl and I can give her the same, I don't know of anything else I could ask for from her.

So there you have it. Those are the pieces of information that were jumping between the synapses in my brain. I hope they spark something in your own thoughts. If they don't, that's fine too. I just thought I'd share those little bits of energy with you...

themes of life

2010-01-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

Music is an integral part of my life for anybody who knows me. It has an interesting effect in my life. Having grown up in a very musically inclined and talented family, I’ve been blessed with an understanding of how powerful music can be in somebody’s life, including my own. I constantly am doing musical things throughout the day. Whether I’m singing , tapping my feet, plugged into my iPod, or a hundred other things I could do, music makes its way through the everyday motions of my life.

I like a variety of music, but I think I’ve found myself gravitating towards (at least for the most part) music that I can feel. What I mean by that, is music that my heart and mind connect with. Lyrics and melodies produce the emotion portrayed in the song. More often than not, I relate very well to these songs, giving them a deeper meaning and feel to me. Here are some songs that strike me to the core and make that connection.

One song that I recently was introduced to is John Mayer’s “Edge of Desire”. This has become one of my favorite songs. It’s a slow ballad describing a failed relationship, with one willing to do anything to rekindle what was once there, desperate for any kind of attention from her. Does this mean that I’m trying to rekindle something and I’m desperate for somebody’s attention? Not necessarily. I seem to connect with the theme well though.

Mayer’s “Heartbreak Warfare” is another example of a song that I seem to connect well with. Experiences in the past make this song relevant to me. Mayer sings about the fighting and pointless jabs that people take at each other during a break or difficult romantical (not sure if that’s a word, but that’s okay, I’m gonna roll with it) situation. I’ve had those pointless fights, where I’ve done or said things knowing that those acts or words would strike a specific cord to show my displeasure. I’ve had the same done to me. People know when they do those types of things. It’s never unintentional.

Moving on to a different artist. Mat Kearney’s “Fire and Rain” (not related to James Taylor’s masterpiece) is a song that sends the right vibes to me. The message of the song centers around a what I think to be a lost love between two people. Kearney’s lyrics tell us how he wonders if this lost girl of his ever thinks of him, or calls for him in her time of need and how he’s never wavered in his love of this girl and that regardless of the obstacles his love will be there for her. I think in a way, I find myself in the same situation from time to time. I think with every relationship, regardless if it’s a happily or unhappily failed one, a piece of my heart will always be reserved for that girl. She was special to me at one time for a reason. I seem to hold on to that for quite sometime, despite my wanting to sometimes. I love the melody and love again, how I can feel the music as I listen to it.

So there you have it. Those are the songs that I find have the most impact on me right now. There are obviously other types of music (particularly religious music) that have a profound effect on me, but that's another discussion, one that I will surely write about and share in the future.

That's all for now.

upward and onward

2010-01-12T23:32:00.001-07:00

Alright, I'm back writing again. I had some thoughts today that I wanted to write down somewhere, and because I'm terrible at writing in my journal, I thought I would just blog and be pretty open with my thoughts and feelings.

I'm back at work. I can't say I'm entirely enjoying it, but I am grateful that I have a job. It keeps me in a position to live on my own and is helping me save up for school in the future. I'm hoping I can be considered the right choice for an upcoming position that will further my ability to save for school and really give me a good opportunity to learn and to contribute. If that doesn't work out, I'll count down my days of working there until the summer when I'll look to be an EFY counselor. I think that would be a great and awesome chance to make an impact in the lives of young men and women. As somebody who's considered teaching as a career at some point in my life, I really think I would enjoy that chance to help and teach kids.

Religious life lately has been an area that I've really let slip away and I haven't taken care of. I have a pretty good idea as to when I started and what caused it. What I can't explain is why I chose to allow it to happen. I haven't been to the Temple in a couple months, haven't enjoyed Church, haven't really contributed much during the meetings, haven't been reading my scriptures, or really saying my personal prayers. It's no wonder I haven't really been happy as of late. I've laid in my bed at night, staring at the ceiling wondering what went wrong in my life that caused me to give up these things. I used to do all of those things mentioned above on a weekly and daily basis. I put them as high priority and as vital during my daily routine. During my realization of all of this, it's shown me how much my life changes when doing the simple things of the Gospel. It's not that I didn't have an understanding of that prior, or that I doubted the importance; I knew the effect they had. What I didn't know was how much of an effect it was. I've begun to see that it wasn't so much a person that was making me happy and making me feel more confident in myself (they had some effect however), but it was mygrowing and maturation in the Gospel that was bringing about these things. I think I associated all of that happiness and confidence to other things than Heavenly Father, something I'm really now seeing.

The education side of things in my life have officially been put on hold for a year. Deadlines, money, and other things have put me on track to be a BYU student in January of 2011. I really look forward to that opportunity to learn and to begin my journey towards graduation and the beginning of the career that I choose. Education is so important to me. All that I learn in school is to make sure that I will be able to support my wife and children. For me, there is no greater motivation and no better reason to do school. I hope and pray that I will be ready for those challenges that await me in the scholastic arena, because my family is depending on me to be do my best.

So what am I going to do now? What is the purpose of my reflection about these things? I suppose it's a self-evaluation. I try to do these on a frequent basis, to make sure that I'm on the right track to things that are important to me. Two words tonight hit my mind like a freight train: "Eternal Perspective". At this point in my life, those two words are going to help me make it back on top and return to relevance. Whatever is going on right now is but a mere blip on the timeline of eternity. I can't let the negative events of the past few months, weeks, days, or hours determine the rest of my life. I will learn from them and then move on. People say life is too short to let things get to us. I like to think and believe that life is too long for us to allow little, meaningless (in the scope of forever) situations and events steer us away from things that make us happy and will bring about the best in us.

So here I go. The changes won't come all at once. It'll take time and diligence. It's work. If anything, work with me on that. I'll always be me inside. Be sure to give me a chance to show you.

no turning back

2010-01-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back in Provo.

Back to work. Back to pushing through this year. Back to whatever I guess.

Going home to Oregon was again, a much needed break. Utah had given me the up and down treatment for the last eight months and I was due a holiday and some time to get away from it all. I did just that, seeing my family and some of my good friends.

This trip of mine was a little different than most. My parents are moving to Portland, Oregon soon, leaving behind my hometown. Moving away from the place of my growing up and moving on to different things in a different place. Central Point was my home for 14 years of my life. It's a little odd to think that I won't really have a "home" anywhere for awhile. Portland, while great, isn't my home. Provo, although I'm living here, isn't my home. I guess home is where you make it though, right? Regardless, Central Point will always be my hometown and where I grew up. I'll always know that place and I'll enjoy visiting there from time to time to catch up with friends and people that I know and love.

Being home also brought me the opportunity to welcome home one of my best friends from his mission. Jethro McFarland and I have known each other since the tender ages of 8 and 9 I believe. We've been through a lot together, we've done a lot together. Having sent him off on his mission in January of 2008 I figured that I'd be busy with my own mission in the coming months and we'd catch up when I was planned to get home in June of 2010. Of course life doesn't always work out and when I got home 6 months later in December of 2008, I was left with a lot of time without my good friends. It was tough and I've been looking forward to having home home. Even if he's still in Oregon, I'm still able to call him and talk with him and further the friendship.

As far as what's going on with me, I'm not entirely sure about lots of stuff. My personality has changed pretty markedly in the past 3 months or so. I don't care about lots of stuff right now. I've become more mellow than normal. The combination of those two things I think has made me somewhat inconsiderate. Regardless, I'm seeing the changes in my life and how they're changing who I am in the present moment.

Right now, I'm just working towards the one goal I have in life right now, and that is becoming a student at BYU. Everything else is secondary, at least for the time being. Of course I reserve the right to change and do whatever the heck I want, but I don't think that will be happening. I like to think that when I want something, I'll do everything in my power to get it. Doesn't always work out, but at least I know I did my part to make it happen. I'm confident that it'll work in my favor come a year from now.

So, here I am. It's 2010. Not really a new beginning to anything for me. Just a continuation, evolution, and maturation process. Taking it one day at a time...

the things we do

2010-01-03T19:58:00.000-07:00

Being home here in Oregon has shown me a few things in my mind.

First, I love Oregon. It's relaxing, it's where I grew up, and I'm oh-so familiar with everything about it.

But secondly, I've also found that I am glad I don't live in Oregon right now, as much as I love it. Me living in Provo, Utah, is exactly where I'm supposed to be and I could tell after being here for a few days.

Today's church meetings served as a reminder for me as to the things I need to do and the changes I need to make in my life. And quickly, on that thought, it was so good being in my home ward again (for the second time this trip too). Lots of good people there and I always seem to learn things that are pertinent to me at that point in my life. Not sure what it is with Provo, but I've had a harder time being taught things that I am in need of. Me saying that means that I need to humble myself and take those things being taught to me and apply them on faith.

Didn't I say I had things to do and changes to make?

In the final lesson of the day, forgiveness was the overwhelming feeling I got. Not just me needing to forgive others, but I need to ask some people for their forgiveness and trust again. Naturally I want to shy away from those things, because they're not easy to do. But, again, was reminded by a good friend of mine when talking to her, that the right things are never easy, but they are always worth the hard work and sacrifice we make to do them.

Life is a doozy. Always has been, and I expect it to only continue on. I'll keep growing up, make mistakes along the way, and have the opportunity (I hope) to make things right (I hope I do that too).

Anyways, those are some of my thoughts today.
I hope your thoughts are just as interesting and motivating as mine can be.

Now, about those changes...

First Video Blog!

2009-12-23T21:34:00.000-07:00

the next big thing

2009-12-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

I enter what most people would deem a "new stage" in life. I suppose being 21 has it's perks.

Just not for me.

I look at the next year and I think it will define a lot about who I am. I've been living on my own for almost 8 months now and doing pretty well I think. I feel I have a fair grasp of reality and the concept of responsibility. Of course I have a lot of work to do during the next forever, but I'll just take it one step, one day at a time.

I'm hoping that I begin another maturation process as I try to refine myself in all aspects. I'm fed up physically and would love nothing more than to break out of my shell and do the things that I used to be able to do. That's certainly a goal of mine. I'm not going to be defined (at least in some small portion) as somebody who lost the ability to do the things he loved to do. I want to be able to play games with my kids in the future and be a physically active person. That will go a long way in making my life a more well-rounded theater of awesome.

Another phase of change and improvement is my preparation. Whether it's money management, health, knowledge, or any other number of things, I want to be more prepared for the things that will certainly present themselves. I think trials are the most difficult when we're unprepared for things. Of course I can't prepare for everything, but I definitely have a circle around me that I can control. That's my responsibility and my opportunity to make sure I am happy.

I think another thing that I've tried to move towards is not having the highest of high peaks or the lowest of low valleys during my walk through of life. The fall from the highest peak is a long way to the bottom of the lowest valley. I'd like to make my emotional/mental path like the landscape in Ohio: subtle rolling hills. Maybe that will make me boring, but it will also be a protection (there's the preparation again) against getting too invested or too depressed about something. It's either that, or I lower my expectations from everybody and everything, assume they won't work out, and when they do then I'll be happily surprised, but if they don't, then I was right all along. I'd rather not do the latter, as it discredits the people I know and care for. I'll try to stick with the former and make that work for me.

In the end, I hope that the dictionary that defines my life isn't about things I could have done, but rather things I did do. Yes, I've made some recent mistakes, but I think I'm doing pretty well as a person, considering what could have happened had I not grown up in the past few years. Those mistakes won't be made again. It's all in the past, and only a few things in the past matter to me. Basically, what's happened in the past year is really of no consequence to me anymore. I'm starting fresh again with the person I'm at right now and I'll go from there.

I apologize in advance for any awkwardness you may feel if I happen to reintroduce myself to anybody that reads this.

2009 is basically done. So is the person I was this year.

the most important image ever taken. ever.

2009-12-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

Yup. I used absolutes in describing this blog. In my opinion, no other picture in the world is more important, more breathtaking, more mind-boggling, or more humbling.

This picture is called the "Hubble Ultra Deep Field" or HUDF. NASA pointed the Hubble Space Telescope into an area of the sky that had no stars or planets for what amounted to more than 11 days of exposure. The area of sky was as big as the area of a grain of sand held at arm's length.

Click the picture and just look at it for a minute or two.

Let me just post a few things that NASA has published explaining this picture.

The image yields a rich harvest of about 10,000 galaxies.
The whole sky contains 12.7 million times more area than the Ultra Deep Field.
Astronomers compare the Ultra Deep Field view to looking through an eight-foot-long soda straw.

Is your mind blown away yet? Think about it. 10,000 galaxies! Galaxies contain hundreds of billions of stars and planets. In (almost) one thirteen-millionth of the total area in the sky, there are 10,000 visible galaxies. If you multiply 10,000 by 13 million, you'll get an error from your calculator because the number is so astonishingly large, and again, that's the number of visible galaxies.

Okay, so why am I writing about this? Am I the nerdiest nerd ever? Maybe, but that's not the point. The picture itself speaks as to how amazing your individual life is. Of all the cosmos, there you are, reading these words, in your own little world. You have a family, friends, and things to live for. Here we are in the great, infinite universe, alive and living our lives. Each time I look at this picture, I am reminded of how small I am in fabric of space and time.

But no matter how small I am in the great wide everything, I am still loved by my family, my friends, and by my Heavenly Father. Truly, an amazing realization.

And you know, maybe I'm alone in thinking like this. Do I care? Not really. I love space and everything involved with it. It's thinking like this that makes me happy. It makes me realize how precious I am to somebody and how amazing and incredible it is that I even exist. Hopefully I'm making the most of this opportunity to be alive in my own little corner of the Universe.

If you would like to read/learn more about the Hubble Ultra Deep Field picture, here are some links that you might find interesting. Or, I suppose you could just Google it. Whatever floats your boat.

the little drummer boy

2009-11-24T20:30:00.001-07:00

The Christmas season is upon us. It seems like yesterday I was feeling that spirit and sharing the Gospel on my mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A interesting year has passed and plenty has happened, and plenty hasn't happened.

This post centers on a known, yet, I think misunderstood Christmas carol. I've always wondered what this song means to people. And as I've come to understand it in my life, I've wondered if people have felt the same way. That song is "The Little Drummer Boy".

Josh Groban - GMA - Little Drummer Boy
by DailyGroban

The song centers around a poor young boy who only can play his drum as his gift to the newborn Savior. As he plays the drum, the Christ child smiles, acknowledging his acceptance of the gift. It's very simple, yet, can be seen as very deep.

I've come to see myself as that poor drummer boy. I don't have much to offer the Savior. I simply try to do my best and offer that as my gift, just as the little drummer boy did. I have so much to improve on, but I know that I've been doing a pretty good job so far. I hope that I can continue to "play my drum" so to speak and continue to please the Savior.

This Christmas season, "let heaven and angels sing" and remember Christ, the real joy of this season.

the chinks in my armor

2009-11-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

So I think it's generally observed around the world that knights are awesome. The wield swords, have fancy shields, and seem to stand for all that it is right (for the most part). We've all seen them in movies and I think all have either wanted to be one or be carried off by one.

I had this funny thought this morning before I went off to work. Oh, and as a little background, I frequently update my Facebook status with things ranging from thoughtful to the ridiculous to the things that make you say: "What does that even mean?" So this morning I said something about me being on a quest for many things. For some reason that stuck in my head throughout the day. Quests are for knights, right? So I guess I was calling myself a knight in some small way. I then thought about what things I was after. While I won't detail all of them to the public, some of the things I'm trying to acquire in my life are the achievement of my scholastic goals, to the development of myself, to the ability to support others.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought of how much work it takes to get those things. It's hard to accomplish the most important things in our lives. My thoughts boomeranged back around to me being a knight. We always hear about the knight's and their "shining armor". The more I analyzed the idea, the more I wanted to be the knight without shining armor. Now of course you're asking...but why?

The person I want to be in the future is somebody who has been through experiences that have made me better. I want my "armor" to show that I've endured the trials, the opposition, and that I've fought and worked my hardest to prevail. If my armor is shiny and new, I haven't been tested, and I certainly haven't learned much about life and about myself. That's why the chinks in my armor are so important. They show people who I am and what I've become.

something to really be grateful for

2009-11-14T02:19:00.000-07:00

In this wonderful (yet bone-chilling to this Oregon boy) month of November we are reminded to be thankful, to be grateful, and to be appreciative.

Of course I wish I was more grateful year-round, and I'm working on it, there always seems to come a boost around the Thanksgiving holiday. Go figure?

In this case however, not only has my gratitude deepened, so has my trust and confidence in myself. What am I now more grateful for? It's simple: my Heavenly Father.

God, the Eternal Father, the supreme being who governs the stars, galaxies, and planets of the universe, knows me. He knows who I am. He understands my heart. He loves me. There is simply nothing more powerful and more reassuring than the love of my Heavenly Father.

Lately my emotions have been running high, my mind brittle, and my body fatigued. I was lost as to what to do. I didn't know how to react, I didn't know what to say, where to go, or anything like that. Sure, I went through the motions of work and school. But I needed that divine help, that heavenly parenting to help me confront and improve the situation I was in.

Heavenly Father heard my prayers and tonight they were answered in a most real way. I felt so happy at seeing it unfold. I desperately needed all the help I could get and I don't know how I accomplished it, save it be by the power and love of God.

How does this affect me? It's difficult to put it into words, but I'll try. To know that your prayers are heard and answered. To know that you are loved. On confidence alone I'm elated and grateful. I now know, more than ever, that God knows the intricacies of my life. He knows my successes and my sorrows. He feels them as I feel them and so desperately wants to help me. Maybe I lacked the faith previously, or I wasn't humble enough, or a number of other things. Regardless of the reasoning behind all of the disappointment I had, I have learned so much from it all.

I love my Heavenly Father. I love Him dearly and I'm so grateful for His love for me. Things look bright on all accounts. I know that as I trust in Heavenly Father, and do what He expects of me and do my very best, I'll make it, because He loves me.

I am a child of God, and that's what I am grateful for.

taking a look around

2009-11-12T00:02:00.000-07:00

Again, another short entry (I hope, I'm tired...).

I just kind of felt like writing. I'm not sure what to write about, which is weird because I've had so much on my mind lately. I haven't felt like this in a long, long time.

The worst part was that I didn't have a solution the last time I felt like this. The thoughts were there for who knows how long and eventually they went away. I'd like to figure out how to solve the problems, fill the voids, and develop myself.

Hopefully time is on my side as I work on those things. Time, while completely foreign to us, is what we've been chained with in this world. Instead of looking at it in a day's, week's, month's, or even year's perspective, I need to see the eternal outlook.

Am I getting the full lesson out of the experiences I'm facing right now? I guess that's a question that only time will answer...

the eternal sunshine of my spotted mind

2009-11-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

Tonight's blog won't be lengthy, at least, that's my prediction as of now. I've said or typed that before and then ramble on for what I'm sure seems like days to the listener or reader. I'll work on staying within my own words this time around.

Life is interesting, isn't it?

Things happen and then other things happen. Neither of them were expected, both bringing their own set of circumstances and feelings along with them. So what do you do now? You were planning for something only to have something else come up...

Gotta love those curve balls.

I suppose the real test in all of this lies in our choices after these things happen to us. How do we react? How do we learn and grow from the experiences? There are lots of questions that should follow each day in our life if you really think about it. I'm working on asking these questions, but also (and I think this is the point of asking the questions) trying to answer them.

I'm in a good place. I'm doing the right things. I know that I'm not perfect and have much to learn and a lot of room to grow. I certainly have my shortcomings with how I treat people, with how I treat myself, and with many other things, we all do. It's my hope that I can be graciously given patience as I try to develop not only myself, but to do it in such a way where I can bless the lives of those that are around me.

Who knows what's going to happen in the future. There are a few things that I think are pretty set in stone, which is ironic, because I've mentioned earlier about things that we don't predict or plan on happening.

Realistically, things will probably not go how I have them playing in my mind. Expectations versus the reality of things are black and white in contrast to each other.

So, to quit with the rambling I'll just conclude.

After the 500 days of summer, I think I'm ready to have that first autumn day. I'll gladly welcome that change whenever it happens.

what's expected of me?

2009-10-24T23:42:00.000-06:00

My life is pretty much like that of everybody else I think. Right?

I have my lame, depressing, less than desirable moments.
I also have the greatest, best, most wonderful things that happen to me too.
I handle them all very differently, and yet, I handle them in the same way all at the same time.

I have my interests and the things I'm passionate about. I don't capitalize on what I like doing enough and think I should do more to develop my talents and be somebody worth spending time with. Not that I think I'm lame and of no worth or anything like that. I just think that I can do a better job of being me and doing the things I like and having qualities and hobbies that make me, well me.

I have the things I can improve on. Many things! I am far from perfect, far from being what I can really be, and far from being content with who I am as a total person. Lately I've been gaining confidence in myself and allowing myself some forgiveness for messing up and for not being the best I can be. That doesn't mean that I give myself a free pass whenever I goof up or do something dumb, it just means that I know that I'm not perfect and that it's a life long journey of being more and more perfect.

As a Priesthood holder there are things I expect of myself and qualities that I try to foster in my life and in my personality. Again, it's a work in progress and I try to be conscious of my actions, words, and thoughts so that I can be more worthy of that privilege to be a servant of God.

These standards are outlined in revelations given to the Prophet Joseph Smith found in the Doctrine and Covenants, section 121. I'll start with verse 36. It says: "...the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and...the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness."

The authority I hold is a power of heaven, of God. Only through righteous desire and through qualities that I will list soon can I be a representative of Heavenly Father and be worthy to be a holder of His Priesthood.

The qualities that I, as a Priesthood holder, should observe in my life and seek to continually develop and attain are listed in the same section (121) in verses 41 through 45:

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile

Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven."

Wow. Having re-read that again and reading the definitions of those words, I am now feeling more humbled and in need of improvement that before. I have so much work to do!

I'm trying very hard to remember these things and to be these things. I have been asked to do this and I know that I can do it as I am faithful and confident in the Lord. I have been given much and I know that I can make a difference in somebody's life and hopefully they can make a difference in mine.

I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I can constantly be moving towards that goal of perfection and maintaining myself as a worthy Priesthood holder of God. I know that as long as I do that and stay true to the covenants I have made with God, that I will be blessed. I have much to stand for and to stay true to.

I cannot allow the valleys of my life dictate the happiness I feel while on the tops of its mountains. I must stand firm and steadfast.

The Prophet Nephi put it so clearly and powerfully that I will quote him. In speaking about how we should live our lives after having made the commitment to follow and be like Jesus Christ, he says the following in 2nd Nephi 31:20:

"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."

I will make my best efforts to take to heart and to action this council given to me (and to all) by a Prophet of God, to be steadfast and firm in my covenants and my love of the Lord, my family, and my close friends.

And, on second thought, I want my life to be different. That's me. I'm not like other guys and I'm not like other people in the world. I hope that my actions show that and make it known to those that I love and care for and to those I do not yet know.

That is something that I'm grateful for.

renewed

2009-10-04T17:33:00.000-06:00

What a wonderful weekend it was.

The week was full of many things for me. Whether it was working, catching up on school readings and assignments, participating in the ordinances of the Temple, or spending time with those I care very much for, I had an array of emotions presented to my mind and on my heart.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I am a firm believer and follower of the Savior Jesus Christ. I have a testimony in His love, His life, and those He calls as His Prophets, Seers, and Revelators. I have a testimony of The Holy Bible and The Book of Mormon and their divine origin, of their power to bring us closer to God and His Son Jesus Christ. I know they are words inspired of God.

This weekend I, along with the millions of faithful Latter-day Saints and anybody willing to hear, was privileged to listen to a Prophet of God speak. I also heard the words of living Apostles of Jesus Christ as they testified of His divine mission and His love for each of us. Through a total of 10 hours (of what is called General Conference) over the weekend I was uplifted, edified, and brought closer to our Heavenly Father. My testimony was strengthened, my resolve increased, and my feet more firmly planted on "gospel sod".

Through the power of the Holy Ghost, I was given revelation personal and specific to me and my life. I was given thoughts in my heart and in my mind that brought me happiness, satisfaction, and assurance. I think the most resounding feeling after this week and this weekend was a self-realization about my life, who I am right now, and where I will continue to go and who I will continue to become. At many times in my life I've felt as though I was on the outside looking in. I felt that I was never good enough, never smart enough, or that I came up short to the billing or expectations from either myself or somebody else. I lacked confidence in myself, in what I was doing, and what I would become someday. I felt that I could never really rise above these shortcomings and miscues.

After years of feeling this on and off, and having a variety of things happen in my life, I began to maybe think that I was an okay person; that my intentions were good. And that's how I've been for a good part of a couple of years. I lived off the feeling that my intentions were good, never really looking at my actions and what I was doing to make good on those intentions. Recently I've been spending a lot of time with a good friend of mine who has taught me tremendously about life and myself. They've had a profound impact on my heart and mind and how I now view myself. I finally saw what so many other people had seen in me, but failed to see it myself. I am a good person. I am a child of God. I have divine potential to do many great and wonderful things. I am a holder of the Priesthood of God and a servant of Christ. I realized that I was focusing on the things I wasn't. I'm not perfect and I dwelt on that, fully knowing that I could not be perfect at this time. I failed to see that I could become perfect as I try to be like Christ. This life isn't about what we are at the current moment, but about where we are going, how were are getting there, and what we can and eventually will become as we follow the path the Savior has so graciously shown us.

This conference culminated what I was beginning to see and feel in my heart. I'm a person worth somebody's time, I'm a person with talents, I'm a person with potential to do many great things in this life, and to become even greater in the next. But, I think more importantly, I know that I am capable of these things because of the Savior, Jesus Christ. It is through His love and His infinite Atonement that I am who I am today. As penned by John Newton in his beloved hymn "Amazing Grace", "I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now I see". I now see so much, because of the love and grace of Jesus Christ.

As I move forward from this weekend, I hope to have a renewed sense of confidence. Not just a confidence in myself, but also in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. A confidence that they will always love me, and that I will forever be watched over. I hope to brighten my countenance and share that with others. I will seek to increase the love of God in my life and to develop it and love others as He loves me. It will take time and effort to do these things. But I know that as I keep the commandments that God has given me, I will be able to achieve all of my righteous desires.

I bear my testimony that Jesus Christ is the living Son of the living God. I know that it is because of Him that I have happiness in my life and that I have a sense of purpose and worth. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Kingdom of God on the earth, and that it will roll forth, ever increasing, being steadfast in standing for truth and righteousness. I know that the heavens are open, and that God continues to speak to us through His living prophets and apostles. God's words never cease and neither does His love for each of us. We are a blessed people! I pray that each of us might gain a greater love for ourselves and for those around us. I know all of these things to be true. I add my testimony to those that of the prophets, both ancient and modern. I echo the words of the Prophet Joseph Smith, "And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!" Of these things I testify of, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

the here, now, and whatever

2009-09-24T21:50:00.000-06:00

Here's some current thoughts of mine:

Life is good. Let's make sure that we know that and try to make it better for others around us. Whatever you gotta do to help somebody, at least try.
Let's be thankful for what we've got. In reading my "Social Problems" book today and reading about so many problems that stem from promiscuous behavior, how glad I am that I have kind and loving parents who raised me right and continue to guide me.
I'm happy with where I'm at. Sometimes I say I'm frustrated, bored, or whatever, but really, at the heart of it all, I'm happy. I'm doing school, I'm working, I've got wonderful friends, an amazing family and have the Gospel. What else do I need?
My foot is starting to hurt again...why does this not surprise me? Hopefully it dies down...
I'm looking forward to the weekend!

Fin.

the good in all of us

2009-09-13T22:50:00.000-06:00

The headlines these days are riddled with calls for reform, change, back lashing, complaining, fighting, and so many other negative and digressive topics. None of that does anybody any bit of good. It usually only fuels the arguments that people already have going on. I know through my own experience that arguing, fighting, and bickering are not the way to solve problems, to find happiness, or to make others happy. It's just a big wedge that takes us further and further away from each other, creating more problems than what we began with.

Today there was a devotional (or lecture) from a woman in my church (Sis. Elaine S. Dalton) who is one of the leaders for girls ages 12-18 in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She spoke on virtue, focusing mainly on the purity that we have in ourselves, and should seek for in our lives. One particular portion of the devotional struck me in my heart and I just knew that it was true. She talked about how there is so much talk of reform and pleas for change from all sides of every equation. The solution she presented was that everybody should have more kindness in their heart, more love for the people around them, and more virtue, or in other words, being more pure.

Those simple things in our lives, and the people around us, would bring so much change to our communities, our nations, and the world. The act of being Christlike and seeking to become better people through Jesus Christ is the solution to all of our problems. It's as simple as that.

I was amazed at the clarity of that portion of the devotional in my mind. In my own life, I can improve the lives of others by loving them, by caring for their needs, by saying a kind word, or smiling at them. I am a firm believer that if more people served each other, that the problems we face in our own lives and as a whole would become less and less prevalent. We are blessed for doing the right thing.

I love the simplicity of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love the clarity that it brings into my life, and the people I love. We are all children of a loving Heavenly Father who wants to bless us as we serve others and love others.

Is it really that hard to do the right thing? No, it's not. It costs you nothing to say a kind word or to smile at somebody. No investment brings more happiness than a free service to somebody.

So let's make a better effort to do the right thing and to love and serve others. I know it will make you a happier person and will bless the lives of those around you.

I know you'll see a difference.

Things of the Recent

2009-09-11T00:02:00.000-06:00

I realized I haven't written a blog in about a bajillion days (two, three months?). Sorry.

But here I am, back with purpose!

So lately I've had a lot going on in my life and I just wanted to share with those who care enough to know. I'll be brief with my words, as I've got to go to bed!

Summer has come to a close, bringing in school, football, and colder weather. I had a great summer. I worked a lot but that's what I needed to do to be where I'm at today. It was through work that I met some of the best people I know. They become closer and closer friends as the days go on. I've really become a better person because of some of these people. I love them and I'm very, very grateful for our friendship! I hope that I can continue to stregthen them and serve them in whatever capacity I can.

One of these friends has been really special for me! She's an amazing example to me in so many different ways. I'm hard pressed to find a sweeter, more caring and sincere girl that I know. I've been blessed with an amazing friendship with her and have benefited so much from being around her. She just makes everybody around her a better person. Lucky me!

I've also had the opportunity to continue my friendship with some of my missionary friends from Brazil, to Chicago, to North Dakota. I've enjoyed hearing their stories, their triumphs, and disappointments. I've seen growth in their character through their letters and I love them more and more as they days go by. I eagerly await the day that I can embrace them and continue our frienship on a more local level!

Lately though, I've pondered much the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I've been more consistent and more sincere with my prayers. I've been more genuine in my study of the Book of Mormon and I've felt the amazing difference in my life. I've thought of the Atonement of the Son of God. Christ's sacrifice for each of us will never truly realized or appreciated while in this life. It's just an amazing gift that gives and blesses in every way we want it to. It has blessed me in so many different ways over the years. As I've looked back on my life recently, I've seen how I've changed beacuse of Christ and because of His teachings. I've become a kinder (with a lot of room to improve) person. I've become more appreciative of others around me and their sacrifices for me. I've been happy. That's the greatest blessing. This happiness to me, means that I'm on the right path. I'm feeling of the Savior's love for me and I'm soaking it in!

The Gospel is true! I love change I've seen in my life over the past couple of years as I've come closer to Christ and Heavenly Father. I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned, and for the things I've yet to learn. I pray that I can make the most of the opportunities that will surely present themselves before me in the coming days, weeks, months, and years. I wish the same for all of you as well!

Let us look forward to a fantastic fall season! Tell somebody you love them. Make their day, and find your own happiness in the service of others.

oh baby!

2009-06-04T16:33:00.000-06:00

What a day it's been!

So this morning around 8:15am, Todd, my brother, gets a phone call. Of course there's no way I can sleep through his "Never Gonna Give You Up" ringtone, so I listen in on the conversation across the room through the blanket on my head. He's talking to one of our friends, Ben, about his wife Melanie and how they're at the hospital. Apparently Melanie, who was almost 36 weeks along in her pregnancy as going into the early stages of labor and that they would be having their baby today. They called to ask if either Todd or myself would come down to the hospital with a camera for some pictures. Todd without hesitation passed the torch to me and soon enough I was driving to the hospital with a camera in hand.

I got to Melanie's room around 8:35am. Strangely enough, I didn't feel how I thought I would feel. It all felt very normal and nothing really seemed shocking or foreign to me. Melanie as on her epidural, so of course she was feeling pretty dandy, considering the amount of pain she was in upon her arrival at the hospital 6 hours prior. Ben was pretty tired, Veronica, his sister, was excited and ready to help in whatever way she could. Unfortunately for Josh, (Ben's brother and my roommate) he couldn't be there due to him being an EFY counselor and unable to leave his boys for the day. Nurses were coming and going, getting Mel comfy and doing some checks to make sure she was progressing and that things were going smoothly.

Not much happened until her doctor showed up and started coaching her on how she should breathe and push to get the baby out. After that first coaching session, Melanie started having some serious contractions and began to push the baby out. As a spectator, I was glued to the programming that life has presented me. I can only imagine what was going through Ben's mind, let alone comprehend what Melanie was going through. I was in a state of "in-between". It was such a crazy experience for me. After really only 15-20 minutes of "intense" labor, little Claire Juliette Park was brought into the world and soon into the arms of her mother.

It's hard to not think about the amazing power of procreation and the ability to have families. It's so awesome to see things like that happen. I was so privileged to even be in the room. I have no idea what I'm going to do when that happens to my wife and I whenever that time comes. Just thinking about it has me scared out of my mind. I have no idea how to be a good father! Thankfully I'm not in a position to find out before I feel somewhat prepared.

The point of the story? I suppose I saw what really made people happy. Money, knowledge, material things, none of that comes remotely close to the power of love in a family. I'm grateful for Ben and Melanie allowing me to even be near the room, let alone there with them in it! We'll see what happens when I reach that point in life...

my very own miracle to experience

2009-05-21T13:35:00.000-06:00

Upon moving to Provo at the end of April, I've been looking for a job to help me pay for rent, help me pay for school; help me do all sorts of things that require funding.

As everybody knows the economy isn't all that great. People are losing their jobs left and right. It's kind of depressing sometimes to just think of all the lame stuff that's going on around us. Amidst all of this, I have found a resonating hope in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Of all the things that are unsure in this world, the Gospel is there, steadfast and immovable. I've been trying to not only believe what the Savior and His prophets taught, but to also apply them in my life. For that is the best way to worship Christ, by trying to be more like Him and to do what He's asked of us.

One of the things we've been commanded to do is to keep the Sabbath day holy (Exodus 20: 8-11). Many people have their interpretations of what this means (and they're entitled to them), but for me, I've been asked to refrain from working, shopping, and other "worldly" things and instead focus more on the Savior and on Heavenly Father. During the times of my employment, there has been one day that sticks out in my mind like an unsightly weed in grass. While working at Staples, I was called by the newly hired general manager a Sunday morning before church. He called to ask if would come in and cover somebody's shift. I struggled with the question, but apparently, not long enough as I told him that I would come in and do the shift. I used the weak justification that I was trying to show my boss that I was a good employee and was dependable, while completely tossing aside the principles I knew to be true. Needless to say, the day was terrible. I felt completely out of place. The time I spent there was in no way a benefit to me. The fifty bucks I made that day was something I wish I never received in my paycheck. I had openly disobeyed a commandment. At that point, I committed myself to never work on Sundays.

Two weeks ago I was offered a position to work at OfficeMax in Orem. The job seemed ideal to me. I had previous work experience in that type of store. I knew the products inside and out and knew I would be successful in that environment. The catch was that I would have to work at least one Sunday a month. While someone may look at that and think that it's only one day out of 30 (or 31, or 28). I looked at it in the sense that the Sabbath only happens four times (five a couple of times a year) a month. 25% of the time I've been asked to fully set aside to the Lord would be given up for money. I really needed the money was the problem...Most college students are poor, but being unemployed really puts salt in the wound.

I took the weekend to ponder the opportunity. I prayed, fasted, and read scriptures in faith that I would receive an answer from Heavenly Father. The answer came while I was reading in the book of 1st Nephi and the account of Nephi being asked (by his Father, who was commanded by the Lord) to go back to Jerusalem (after having traveled into the wilderness, approximately a 14-day journey) to retrieve the brass records (containing scriptures and genealogy). The task was difficult and would require patience and faith in the Lord (1st Nephi 3-4). Nephi's answer to his father's request is powerful: "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them. (1st Nephi 3: 7" I too know that the Lord doesn't command us to do things He knows we can't do. Just as Nephi knew he could accomplish the task given him, I knew I could find work and still keep the Sabbath day holy. I turned down the opening at OfficeMax, despite some opposition and pressed forward with faith in the Lord. Something would present itself for me to take advantage of.

This past Monday, I received three phone calls regarding employment at various places around Utah Valley. By the end of the day, I had two interviews scheduled, one on Tuesday, and another on Wednesday. The third phone call proved to not be fruitful as I wasn't able to comply with the schedule. Regardless, I was thrilled at the chance to have some interviews lined up and give myself a chance at a job.

The interview on Tuesday went well, despite having some serious difficulty in finding the building (thank you Benjamin Park!). Working there would have me selling over the phone; something I wasn't all too excited about doing, but knew that it was work and would provide me with the money I needed to make it here in Provo. I went to my interview on Wednesday with what seemed like more confidence than I usually felt I had. I would be working with people over the phone and helping managing accounts. The interview went great and I felt as if I had given the best answers to the questions I was asked. After that, all I could do was wait. Thankfully the wait wasn't that long!

This morning (Thursday) I attended my institute classes (great by the way!). During my first class, I got a phone call. As soon as it started ringing, I knew that it was somebody from my first interview without even having to look at my phone. I felt impressed to let it ring, to continue to pay attention in class and to not think much of it, so I did just that. Surely enough, the person calling left me a voicemail and I would be able to tend to it at a later point in time. After my classes were over I listened to the voicemail (asking me to call this person back about the job) and then called and spoke with my mom about the current situation. After discussing it over, we both agreed that this particular job (selling over the phone) wasn't for me and that I would turn it down if offered.

I got home and put off calling for a bit. I guess I felt somewhat nervous, turning down a job that I knew would be offered to me. Finally, after some time, I finally let the impression of the Holy Ghost into my brain and turned it into an action. I called back and politely declined the job. Now again, I was left to wait and see if I would be called back about the second interview. No more than five minutes later, I was called by the second company and offered the job.

This whole experience has been one of growth and one of faith. It happened exactly as it says in Ether 12: 6: "And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith (emphasis added)." I testify that the Lord blesses those who do all they can to serve Him and to keep His commandments. Heavenly Father knows our situations and the things we all face. Each intricate detail of our lives is known to Him.

I hope that somebody can learn from these experiences!

the transplant

2009-05-01T11:14:00.000-06:00

So...Finally. I've moved to Provo and thus far I'm enjoying it.

I'm signing up for some institute classes at UVU and plan on doing summer term at BYU.
Now, if I can just get a freakin' job, that would make things so much nicer!

Here's to a great summer!

you have to wonder, what if?

2009-04-11T11:23:00.000-06:00

I don't know how brief, straight forward, or reserved I'll be in this entry, but whatever the case, here I go.

Alright, so there are things we all do in life that we regret. Some have a more resounding effect in our lives than others, but we all share this common vice. Some people make the claim that they don't regret anything in life. I personally have a hard time believing that, but maybe that's because I do regret things.

In my looking back in life there is a particular period of time in which I made some very poor, life affecting decisions, the likes of which I still agonize over and replay over and over and over in my head. I'm left with the empty feeling and conclusion of "what if?"

I hate that saying. "What if" is something that says regret, and totally and completely reveals the lack of confidence in one's past. What if I didn't do that, or what if I did this? What if none of it happened at all? All common questions in my brain on a frequent basis regarding many things.

Nevertheless, the past is the past. The events are set in stone, the memories forever etched in the mind. Often I wonder what is it going to take for me to forgive myself? I have it from others around me, but I can't quite seem to give it up inside. What's it going to take I wonder?

Hopefully it's the next girl.

you are a child of God

2009-03-22T22:23:00.000-06:00

A lot of information is in the world in which we live. Some of it's true, some of it's false. Most of it doesn't really matter anyways.

But regardless of race, gender, appearance, past, future, popularity, or whatever differences we have with one another, there is one universal truth. You are a son or daughter of an infinitely loving Heavenly Father. Every event, every problem, every accomplishment, every detail is known to your Father in Heaven.

I know that we all have different challenges in our lives, and sometimes these events seem to prove to us that we aren't loved or cared for. But I know with all that I am that you are always and perfectly loved. I testify that He cares for you in every way and wants nothing more than for you to find happiness in this life.

Mormon.org

the temple

2009-03-17T20:49:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to say briefly and to the point, that I love the Temple.

The House of the Lord is really a neat place to reflect and to ponder things of forever. I'm glad I have the opportunity to live so near to one.

It's my hope that all of God's children will someday walk into the doors of His Holy House and receive the blessings that await them there.

light and truth

2009-02-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

Today, it being the Sabbath day, I was able to attend Church and really receive some good counsel. But, what I'd like to more write about is just what I know to be true and what I find happiness in.

In this day and age, people are beginning to doubt the existence of God and his Son. As somebody who was a full-time missionary, sharing the truths of the Gospel of Jesus Christ showed me how much people need it these days. Especially times like these that we're facing. People are losing focus of what is truly important.

The Book of Mormon is really divinely inspired scripture that teaches and testifies of Jesus Christ. Many people have their preconceived notions about what the book may or may not contain. But, as somebody who has read it and studied it, I know for a fact that it will teach you of the Savior's mission to redeem mankind and bring you closer to your Heavenly Father.

I know that Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of God. People can say what they want about him, but that does not disprove his work and the testimony he sealed with his blood. He translated the Book of Mormon by the power of God. He is the Lord's prophet in these last days.

Above all else, I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God. I know that He came to earth to redeem each of us, to provide us a way to return to live with our Father in Heaven. I know that He suffered our pains, our temptations, our trials, our illnesses, and took upon Himself our sins. I know that He died for us, but more importantly, that He now lives. I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ's church again on the earth today. I cannot and will not deny what I know to be true.

I love my Savior and am eternally grateful for His example and for His love that he so freely gives me.

Please visit www.Mormon.org to learn more of our Heavenly Father and His plan of happiness for each of us.

untouchable

2009-01-29T21:34:00.000-07:00

A short entry for the night.

I just wanted to make it publicly known that I am an avid follower of John Mayer. I remember telling myself and people that I would never be "one of those kind of fans". But, after countless hours upon hours of enjoying John Mayer's musical creations of lyrics, chords, and solos, I've decided to become "one of those fans".

Basically his music is something that we don't have enough of these days. Personally, Ithink there is too much hip-hop, rap, and screamo "rock". John Mayer's slow, methodic approach to his music is almost unparalleled in this day. He clearly is one of the premeire guitarists of our day and time.

A pure entertainer, John Mayer creates the mood, the feeling, and the atmosphere with his music. For your viewing enjoyment, I'll post an act from a concert in December of 2007.

Ladies and gentlemen...

John Mayer.

praise worthy

2009-01-22T14:51:00.000-07:00

Of the many things that we see during the course of our day, how much of it is uplifting, encouraging, and enlightening? The media these days seems to focus more on the sensational, the shocking, and the distastefully odd. We hear about Britney Spears and how her life is miserable from all of the attention she gets. We hear about how super-star athletes aren't getting paid enough at $15 million dollars a year from their contract. We hear about an actor having an affair with one of the stunt women for a movie. What kind of life do we live when these things are exciting to hear about? What good does any of that do me or the people around me?

Occasionally though, there will be a feature or story done on something or somebody that is truly remarkable. Unfortunately, in my opinion, the spotlight isn't focused long enough or bright enough on these few and far stories. One such story revolves around an individual named DJ Gregory. The feature (found below) is the first I've seen or heard about DJ, which I find saddening. DJ's story is one truly worth the time during our day. His hard work, his dedication, and his determination to accomplish his goal is something movies should be made of. I'm personally tired of seeing all of these advertisements for these gore-filled "horror" films. Certainly, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard.

The feature, done by ESPN reporter Tom Rinaldi helped me remember that in this world full of deciet, malice, disconent, and selfishness, that there really are good people. DJ Gregory, you have my thanks and my heartfelt gratitude for being who you are. A lot of us could take a lesson or two from your story and can learn from your experiences.

If for any reason the embedded video does not work, please click on the following link to view the feature:

E:60 - Walk On

the obamanation

2009-01-21T00:31:00.000-07:00

In some people's eyes, the past eight years have been nothing but a complete failure and the blackest of black eyes on the country's up and down history. When things began to turn downward, people started to blame the majority of their problems on President George W. Bush and his oft criticized policies and decisions. While yes, these past eight years have most definitely seen their hardships and rough times, I don't think we can, or should pin all of our problems on somebody's presidency. That would be the easy way out, but then again, that seems to be what America is all about these days.

Exactly eight years ago President George W. Bush was in the same, exact situation as President Barack Obama. In fact, I think it's fair to say that every man that has been a newly elected President has been in those same shoes. They're all on equal footing to start off (for the most part). At this point, many Americans dislike President Bush. Whatever their reason may be, I am nobody to tell them who they should or shouldn't like. What I wish people didn't do, is brush off responsibility and accountability to somebody else. Yes, President Bush made some mistakes, but so did a lot of other people in both the House of Representatives and the Senate. There is plenty of blame that could be tossed around and assigned to different people, but instead, I find that it's been mostly shoveled off onto one person in particular. Now, I'm not necessarily defending President Bush. What I'm more trying to do, is to have us look at ourselves and have accountability in our own lives and take responsibility for our actions and for our choices.

I do not solely place our country's current situation on President Bush in any way. I'd place it more on the American people before I would place it on him. We, as a people, just need to be smarter, more civilized, more morally driven, and more future thinking. Common sense is something that I think is getting harder and harder to find. What we need less of are people constantly throwing people under the bus and being critical of every mistake and mishap.

I, personally, am not an avid supporter of Barack Obama. But I am somebody who hopes that whomever the President of the United States may be, that he or she succeeds and brings prosperity and a sense of dignity to our country and people. I do not wish President Obama ill-will or bad luck. What I wish for him is that he makes the correct decisions when they need to be made. I don't foresee an instant turnaround of things in this country, but I hope that we, as a collective whole, make choices that will benefit everybody.

Now I, personally, really dislike politics and dividing line they've become with people. I don't like to talk about them much, and I probably will seldom mention them on this blog from this point on. I will though, mention moral issues from time to time.

the surgical procedure

2009-01-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

So today I had my surgical operation done on my left foot. My day started around 7:00am and I was at the surgery center by 8:30am.

I was told that I had a lot of scar tissue, quite a bit of bone regrowth, and calcification around the bones/joint. I got home around 1:30pm, so it was definitely a long morning.

This time around, I had a very difficult time overcoming the anesthesia and morphine they gave me. I also had some problems with my oxygen levels. I had some pretty bad convulsions and was shaking pretty bad. Took me about an hour or so to regain my sense of awareness. Apparently I had been up longer than what I remember, having a full conversation with the doctor. Who knows what I said.

From what I understand, it was successful and things went smoothly. At the moment I'm sitting here on my couch, pretty tired and worn out. I don't really like it, because it's a different tired than a sleepy tired and I have a hard time finding a comfortable position to sleep in.

Anyways, I had my mom take a couple of pictures of me, so I'll post those for you to see.

Pre-Op:

Post-Op:

for those who wondered...

2009-01-15T00:31:00.000-07:00

I've received a couple of inquiries as to what I can and can't do post-surgery. They range from volunteering at schools, to going to church, to whatever.

This comes at the request of my good uncle Paul Anderson, who asked as to whether or not I would have full use of a restroom under my own power. I can answer that question with a resounding: yes.

Thanks for everybody's support. I look forward to a smooth operation and some work ahead. Feel free to visit, as I won't be up for much outside the house for a few weeks. Take care!

sing my friend!

2009-01-14T14:45:00.000-07:00

If this doesn't make you laugh...well, then I just don't know...

This is my dog Boomer singing while I play the piano (terribly, I might add). He is the funniest little dog in the world. Boomer has always been a singer. I suppose this is his first performance before a camera though. I hope you find it as funny as I do.

my much maligned foot

2009-01-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

Finally.

Tomorrow I will be having surgery on my left foot to correct a very irritating problem! If you haven't been brought up to speed on things, check out this post and it should explain things.

I'll be posting pictures to track some of the progress. They shouldn't be too gross for people, but I'm sure some of you will find it repulsive.

Here's my foot, approximately 2-1/2 weeks after surgery:

Since it's the same procedure being done tomorrow, I should have a good indication of what to expect. I expect my scar to be a little bit larger. But overall, I'm expecting much of the same thing you see there.

Here's my foot today, January 14th, approximately 2 years and 3 months after the first surgery:

The scar is pretty well healed, and you can't hardly notice it on the picture. We'll see how things go tomorrow. I've been looking forward to this for awhile! I don't anticipate there being any problems. If there are however...well I don't know! I'll let you know one way or another.

before the line stoppers

2009-01-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

Alright, so this is sort of a vent post...but that's okay.

Today, when I was driving home from my little shopping excursion, I came to the intersection of Highway 99 and West Pine St. in Central Point, a pretty routine course of action in my life.

So I'm driving along, enjoying The Killers on the iPod when I see that the light is red and I proceed to slow down. My next realization is what really grinds my gears about driving sometimes. The guy in front of me, is a full car length behind the sensors in the road that tell the traffic lights that there are 5 cars in the turn lane.

I've recreated the situation in this picture below:

Let me explain the numbers:

1) The sensor - It lets the traffic light computer know that there are cars in that particular lane. The sooner somebody drives on it, the sooner the light will turn green, or at least allow the computer to recognize that you're there and will then change the lights according to the allotted time for that specific traffic interchange.
2) The driver and his car that stops a full car length (sometimes more) behind the white cross walk lines. Completely coming up short of the sensor, this person might wait 4-5 times through the switching of lights before pulling up and notifying the traffic light computer that they are in the turn lane.
3) The driver that realizes that dire situation at hand and tries to be patient. The driver of this car suffers the unneeded torment of waiting at a traffic light that doesn't know there are 5, 6, or even 23 cars in the turn lane. The driver of this car begins to use hand movements to the driver ahead suggesting that they move up the necessary 5-15 feet to trigger the sensor. Studies have shown that regardless of what this driver will do, the driver ahead will not pay any attention to any of their surroundings, and thus, will not move forward, for that is how this situation was created in the first place.

Too often have I found myself to be the driver behind the noob. One particular episode comes to my mind, very vividly I might add.

I was driving home after a long day of work, and I happen to pull up to somebody in the left turn lane. We were the only drivers at the intersection during this particular time of day. The driver ahead of me had stopped his car a good 10 feet behind the sensor. I must have sat there and watched the lights change 5 times. I'm not sure what bombshell went off in the driver's head in front of me, but some great force caused him to drive up to the sensor and allow the light to turn green for us.

Too often, drivers must suffer the consequences of driver deficient of attention. For everybody's sake, pull up to the sensor, and move traffic along a little faster.

(sigh) moved in

2009-01-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

Sweet.

I'm now, for the most part, organized, and all set up to live here at home for the next six months. Surgery is in like 8 days or something, so until then, I'm just hanging out and not doing too much.

I'll probably take the time to do a few sessions at the Temple and spend my time in a worthy cause. If you wanna join me, let me know when you would like to go!

Anyways, here's my new, clean, organized room/desk.

not quite moved in

2009-01-06T15:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I said I was moving in yesterday...but I haven't had too much success. I mean, I have, but it's obviously not showing in these pictures.

I'll make progress today. I have to, or mom won't be happy. Besides, I have nothing to do anyways. I did watch a couple of movies this morning (Blades of Glory and Be Kind Rewind). Not much else planned for the day. We'll see what happens.

babies

2009-01-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so no matter how I portray this, it will sound weird. I've come to that conclusion...but this is a cool little thingy and I'm going to be an advocate of it.

To make it less weird, I've decided not to use my picture...because I'm not married to anybody, and for me to make a simulated child with anybody would just be awkward. I've decided to use Brittney Daniels and David Spade to see what a little Joe Dirt would look like.

Go on, start making babies.

movin' on in

2009-01-05T13:28:00.000-07:00

So, today I'm starting my move in process. While I've been here for like two weeks, I can now actually get my stuff out of the garage and into a bedroom...

I've been pretty bored lately...not much going on around here.

June can't come soon enough.

An Elder no more...

2008-12-21T17:08:00.000-07:00

This is an update to the previous entry I posted this morning.

This morning I was released by my Stake President, relieving me of my full-time duties as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

It was a wonderful experience that I will draw from for the rest of my life. I will write a full follow-up in the days to come after I've settled my mind down a bit.

You're probably wondering what's going on...

2008-12-21T06:37:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody, this is the one and only Elder Zachary Miller.

I've received some response already to my coming home. Most of it with surprise and curiosity. Both of which were completely expected on my part. I can't just go on a mission for 6 months and then show up back home without some kind of response on the part of the people I left!

I've been writing previously in my blog about the problems on my feet. These problems have been nothing new to me. I'll give a little background information to kind of get you up to snuff on stuff.

In October of 2006, I had surgery on my left foot for what is called a "tarsal coalition". The problem consists of two or more bones fusing in the feet. The picture below shows what happens when the condition goes untreated:

The first surgery successfully defused what is called a "calcaneonavicular bar". I was laid up for 3-4 months in recovery and then went about my business enjoying my senior year.

In the fall of 2007, while attending Brigham Young University-Idaho, I began to experience more of the same pain I had encountered prior to surgery. I was certainly confused as to why, seeing that I had just had it fixed one year previous. I revisited the situation with my doctor and it was determined that the most that could be done was done.

I continued to work on going on my mission, readying my papers and my mental psyche. All the while, my feet continued to hurt, continued to give me problems. When I left in June of 2008, my feet were doing as well as I had hoped. The pain was there, but I was able to do quite a bit of what a missionary was supposed to do. The problem however, never did go away.

Somewhere during the end of September and the beginning of October, my left foot began to decline rapidly in health and strength. My right foot, still hurting, had to begin to take the brunt of the work and it too began to deteriorate in quality. I finally had had enough and decided to see a doctor. I know my body inside and out, I knew that something was not right. During the first visit, I had x-rays taken in which not much was found. It was inconclusive to the doctor and to me. He recommended having an MRI done on each foot to really see what was going on in there. I obliged and had them done immediately.

Upon returning to the doctor, I was given the news that, yes, I again had a fusion in my left foot. The doctor though, wasn't sure if that was all. He sent back my MRI's to have them looked at again, with a closer attention to specific areas in the feet. That resulted in more news. I had in fact two, possibly three fusions in my left foot. My right foot is a candidate for the same problem as well. While unknown, there are still problems with the right foot. One of my tendons is partially torn (the doctor described it like a fraying piece of rope). Needless to say, I was in quite a bit of pain.

To go into a bit of detail about how it affects me, you have to understand how much you really use your feet during the day. When I first had surgery, I was shocked at how much a person really does on their feet during a normal day. What has been happening with these most recent problems is that my left foot becomes unstable, resulting in awkward and untimely drops of my left leg, causing very sharp pains. The pain usually is a dull, almost numbing pain that resonates from my foot, to my ankle, to my lower leg, to my knee, to my upper leg. During the last 3-4 weeks, standing became almost unbearable, due to the amount of pressure on the joints, bones, and muscles. I could stand for maybe 5-10 minutes, and required something to sit on almost in every situation. The right foot, experiences similar pain, and has been overused due to the compensation from my left foot.

The condition did not allow me to do what I had to do. I'm scheduled for a doctor's appointment on the 22nd, and and will most likely have surgery on the 29th to repair and correct the problem.

To be realistic, this has probably ended my service as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One of the procedures that might be done would take up to a year to recover from, and my feet won't be the same after any kind of surgery. While I'm sure this will disappoint many of you, I have felt good about having these things done. It's just something that happened, and I am trying to do the best with it. You're more than welcome to email me if you have any questions or would just like to say "Hi".

I appreciate the love and support that I have. It has meant a great deal to me and I cannot value the friendships and relationships with all of you. I love you all very much and will look forward to continuing to do what I can to serve Heavenly Father.

Elder Miller's return

2008-12-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends and Family:

This is Zach's mom writing this entry. Due to Zach's previous and present foot problems, he will be returning home this Saturday evening from his mission. At this point, we do not know if this will be a permanent occasion or a temporary one. We know for sure he will be having more surgery on his left foot with surgery possible on his right foot. Depending on the outcome, a determination will be made as to whether or not he will be able to complete his mission.

As you can imagine, Zach is disappointed. He was really enjoying working with the people of Ohio and will surely miss the many friends he has there. He will also miss teaching the Gospel and sharing his love of the Lord with others as a full-time missionary. He plans to continue sharing his testimony on a less formal basis.

If you have a chance, please write him a few words of encouragement. Some of you will be seeing him soon, so have a smile and a pat on the back for him. He will update you further on his status as time goes on.

Thank you for your continued support of my wonderful son!

Zach's MTC address

2008-06-22T16:41:00.000-06:00

I thought I was a "noob", but it turns out I really am! Sorry this posting is a little late, but I was unsure of what my username was and thought I would have to wait for a communication from Zach before I would be able to post. As luck would have it, Zach's brother, Todd, was able to figure out my username and, therefore, I am able to do the work Zach left for me.

He was picked up at the airport by his Grandma and Grandpa Anderson and they took him to the Missionary Training Center. Zach is a tenderhearted young man and while he has been looking forward to his mission for a long time and is better prepared than most young men (in my opinion), he had a little bit of trepidation in entering the MTC. However, he knows he has the support of so many people and one, in particular, made a very big difference when it came time for him to be comfortable in going forth to serve. A BIG THANK YOU to Josh Park for meeting Zach at the MTC before he actually went in and talking to him and reassuring him and being such a great friend. Grandma and Grandpa said you made a difference!

Well, attached are a couple of pictures of "Elder Miller". We are pleased and excited for his service and know he will learn much and be able to share what he knows to be true with many people. We love him and invite all of you to pray for him as we do.

Zach's MTC Address:

Elder Zachary A. Miller
MTC Mailbox #314
OH-COL 0709
2005 N. 900 E.
Provo, Utah 84604-1793

I learned to blog!

2008-06-15T22:57:00.000-06:00

Zachary taught me how to use his blog today. I will be keeping everyone updated on his progress and experiences. As his mother, I am proud of him and am looking forward to him serving the Lord and gaining a greater testimony and love for the Lord.

Departure

2008-06-15T20:12:00.000-06:00

As of June 18th, 2008, I will be serving my full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Ohio Columbus Mission. I'm grateful for this wonderful opportunity of service and love. I'm happy to have made it this far in my life and be blessed with the means and desire to tithe a portion of my life to the Lord.

As a young child, I always looked up to the missionaries and their examples. I'll admit, I didn't always know that I wanted to serve a mission. I questioned it at times and never really felt that confirmation that I needed to serve a mission. Not until a couple of years ago did that overwhelming sense surety about a mission come to me. It was a small, yet powerful moment in my life. I remember sitting on the grass at BYU and reading the scripture found in the Doctrine and Covenants, chapter 38, verse 30. These words "but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear" really resonated in my mind. And right there, I knew I would serve a mission. No matter the trials, the obstacles, or the setbacks, nothing would keep me from serving the Lord in this sacred calling. The way by which I got to this point in my life was by no means the easiest or smartest way. But looking back on all of it...well it doesn't really matter now. I've learned a great deal about myself, about life, and about others. I can't change the past, but I can change the future by making the right choices now.

Many of you may be wondering why I'm sacrificing everything in my life for two years. Why I'm leaving behind my family, my friends, work, school, and other things to teach people about my religion. I'm sure some of you find it strange and odd that somebody would do anything like this. And all of that, is perfectly okay. But I'll tell you why I'm doing this. I'm doing this because I love our Heavenly Father and I want to serve Him in any way that I can. I've been given a great deal in my life. The least I can do is consecrate a small portion of my life in service to the Lord. If you would like to learn more about what I'll be doing for the next two years, please click here:

Missionary Work

In June of 2010, I'll return home. I don't know where I'll call home. But whether it will be here in Southern Oregon, or somewhere else, it doesn't really matter, because the friends I've made will be my friends for the rest of my life. The things I'm really leaving behind are the things that don't really matter in the long run. The love of my family and friends will be with me forever, and nobody can take that away. I'm grateful for all of those who have made a difference in my life and have helped me reach this point.

At this point, I'm dedicating the next two years of my life to the Lord and to helping His children in Ohio. Nothing else matters to me. I will stand by those words until released from my calling as a missionary.

I know what I'm doing is the right thing. I know it without a doubt in my mind. I know some of you may not share my religious beliefs, and that is more than okay with me, but I cannot deny what I know to be true in my heart, mind, and soul. I hope to return with honor, having done the best I could have done.

I look forward to what the future has for me...

Farewell Thoughts

2008-06-09T00:25:00.000-06:00

So today I gave my farewell talk (which is posted below) and had a small get together at my home the same evening. It was an interesting day with all sorts of different feelings.

I think I did an pretty good job conveying the message the Spirit had wanted to get across. In writing my talk, I had figured that I might cry a little bit during some point of the talk...but wasn't sure what would bring about those emotions.

I did pretty well until I began to talk about my family and the love and support that they've always had for me. It was at that point that I began to just sob. I had a hard time speaking at that point (which never seems to be a problem with me...) but managed to wrap up my talk. Upon the conclusion of my talk, the young men of the ward sang a musical number "We'll Bring the World His Truth (Army of Helaman)". This song has always had an effect on me and always spoke to me. I began to cry as the young men and their leaders sang. It's an awesome song and I almost got up myself and began to sing with them!

While speaking it was amazing the calmness that I felt and the tranquility of my nerves and Spirit. While I enjoy speaking in front of people and teaching, I always find myself sweating a little or that my hands shake a little. At no point did I ever have that feeling of nervousness. I felt at peace with everything in my life and felt comforted about what I will soon set forth to do. It was an amazing feeling and I remember feeling a great sense of gratitude to my Father in Heaven for blessing me with so much in my life.

The open house held earlier here at my home tonight was also a great opportunity to see many close friends. Unfortunately, I didn't really get to say much more than a "hello" and "thank you" to some. There were other "things" going on and I feel bad that I wasn't able to speak more in depth with a lot of people. So I was a little disappointed at that aspect of the open house.

At the moment, I'm pretty tired and probably need to get some sleep. This last week will be an adventure as I begin to pack the things I will leave here at home. Wish me luck!

Farewell Talk

2008-06-09T00:20:00.000-06:00

Good Morning Brothers and Sisters. I’m grateful for the opportunity to speak to you this morning. The topic I’ve been assigned to speak to you about is Honoring Our Father's Good Name

In thinking about this topic, I found that there were a few ways that I could approach and teach this subject. It is my hope that the Spirit will help me in teaching you.

When I received my topic and understood what I was to convey to you this morning, a story immediately came to my mind. I’ve really grown to enjoy this short story and to try to apply it in my life.

As a new missionary serving in Preston, England, Elder Gordon B. Hinckley was facing a major trial in his life. He was sick when he arrived in the mission field, and he quickly became discouraged because of the opposition to the missionary work. At a time of deep frustration, Elder Hinckley wrote in a letter to his father that he felt he was wasting his time and his father’s money. A little while later, Elder Hinckley received a reply from his dad. It said, “Dear Gordon, I have your recent letter. I have only one suggestion: forget yourself and go to work.”

Earlier that morning during scripture study, Elder Hinckley had read in the Bible, “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it”

“With my father’s letter in hand, I went into our bedroom in the house at 15 Wadham Road, where we lived, and got on my knees and made a pledge with the Lord. I covenanted that I would try to forget myself and lose myself in His service”

President Hinckley honored his earthly father by honoring his Heavenly Father. For the rest of his life he served in many callings within the Church, including President of the Church for thirteen years. President Hinckley’s dedication to that suggestion from his father set a standard for him, a standard that I I’m just beginning to understand.

The following is a passage from a talk given by Elder Oaks. He says:

The commandment to honor our parents has strands that run through the entire fabric of the gospel. It is inherent in our relationship to God our Father. It embraces the divine destiny of the children of God. This commandment relates to the government of the family, which is patterned after the government of heaven.

To young people, honoring parents is appropriately understood to focus on obedience, respect, and emulation of righteous parents. The Apostle Paul illuminated that focus when he taught, “Children, obey your parents in all things [I believe he meant all righteous things]: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”

Spencer W. Kimball spoke about obedience and emulation, saying:

“If we truly honor [our parents], we will seek to emulate their best characteristics and to fulfill their highest aspirations for us. No gift purchased from a store can begin to match in value to parents some simple, sincere words of appreciation. Nothing we could give them would be more prized than righteous living for each youngster.”

After reading that statement by President Kimball, it made me think of how I could honor Heavenly Father in small, simple ways. What President Kimball said is very much along the lines of what our Heavenly Father wants for us. We should always seek to love and care for others, like our Heavenly Father does for each of us.

A brief story from about President Monson’s father provides a wonderful example for me and for all of us to follow. It reads:

Often on Sunday afternoons young Tom accompanied his father as he picked up Uncle Elias to take him for a ride around the city. President Monson remembers that his father would tenderly carry his frail uncle, crippled by arthritis, to the car and place the older man in the front seat, where he would be able to enjoy the best view. “The drive was brief and the conversation limited, but oh, what a legacy of love!” President Monson recalls. “Father never read to me from the Bible about the good Samaritan. Rather, he took me with him and Uncle Elias in that old 1928 Oldsmobile and provided a living lesson I have always remembered.”

The love his father had for his brother was sweet and true. In reading that story I can feel the Christ-like love displayed by President Monson’s father.

Each of the stories and passages I’ve read are all connected with our honoring of and being grateful for the fatherly examples in our lives. Each of us has had a fatherly figure impact our lives in such a way that we change for the better. Whether it is an example of service, or a display of love, we can always be taught by the fathers in our lives.

In studying this topic, I’ve found that there are three main fathers within the Chruch. I’ve mentioned two of them in my talk already, our Heavenly Father and an earthly father. The third is the father of a ward, the bishop. We’ve been greatly blessed to have Bishop Duncan called as our bishop.

How grateful I am for the love that Bishop Duncan has for our ward. I’ve seen his car here at the stake center hours and hours past our ward’s three hour block. The time he devotes to the Lord is something we should all look to pattern into our own lives. I’ve seen how he honors the Lord through his service. I’ve heard and felt the sincerity of his love for me and for the Lord through discussions with him. I encourage each of you to receive the love Bishop Duncan has for you. I am truly grateful and honored to say that Bishop Duncan is my bishop.

When talking of righteous fathers, I’m also reminded of Abraham and Isaac. Abraham loved and honored Heavenly Father to the point that he was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac by commandment from the Lord. I know that all of us can learn from this level of devotion and honor demonstrated by Abraham. There are also many wonderful examples of honoring fathers found in The Book of Mormon.

Nephi was obedient to both his earthly and Heavenly Father and strived to do all that he could to please them both. Because of his obedience, Nephi and his family were blessed with prosperity and continued revelation. Alma the younger honored his father by accepting the truth of the Gospel and dedicating his life, and sacrificing many things to the will of the Lord. The example of Alma the younger is one of hope and faith. Were it not for Alma the younger’s father, the lives of millions may have turned out differently.

The most meaningful example to me of honoring our fathers that is found in The Book of Mormon is summed up in one verse. That verse is Mormon 8:1. Upon reading that verse, I gained an entirely new respect for Mormon’s work in abridging the Book of Mormon, and also for Moroni’s diligence in obeying the words of his father. I thought about it even more and realized that Moroni, by obeying his father’s commandments, honored his ancestors and their diligence and sacrifices they made to keep a record of their people. It was through this sacred honor that Moroni had for his father on earth and to the Lord, that we are blessed to have The Book of Mormon. That example really put into perspective the blessings of honoring our fathers.

Through continued study and prayer, I’ve learned over the past year or so that to honor our Heavenly Father, we must also honor His son Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice. I think of part of the scripture John 3:16 in regards to honoring Christ. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” It reminds me of the unconditional love that Heavenly Father has for us. He sacrificed his Son so that we might live with Him again. I hope we all recognize this gift in our lives.

Now that I’ve presented all of these different examples in other people’s lives and in my own life, I encourage you to think about YOUR life and the examples that are meaningful to YOU. The things our fathers do for us are only as meaningful as we make them. Look back at your life and see how your Heavenly Father has blessed you and how earthly fathers have blessed you. It brings a new meaning, at least for me, to the little known lessons that are found in each of our lives and within the scriptures.

At this point in my life I’ve reached a milestone. Heavenly Father has extended a call to me to serve as a full-time missionary for His Church and to serve the people in the Ohio Columbus Mission. I will honor my Heavenly Father by serving in all my capacity and doing everything I can to bring people to the love that He and His Son so freely offer. To serve the Lord is a wonderful opportunity. I cannot think of any better way to honor the Lord than to dedicate one’s life and possessions to Him.

Young men, a call has been extended to all of you also. I pray and hope that each of you will seek to honor your Father in Heaven by accepting His call to serve a mission. You are all capable of so much and only you can choose to reach your full potential. Serve a mission, go to school to earn an education, prepare yourselves in all things to become worthy husbands and fathers by making righteous choices now. The Lord will bless you in ways that you cannot even imagine. Be faithful in standing up for what’s right and by doing the right things. If you live the Gospel, you will be blessed.

I’ll admit, while excited to serve, I felt somewhat nervous for quite some time that maybe I wasn’t ready, or that maybe I wouldn’t do well. In speaking with many friends, family members, and by listening to the Spirit, those fears have been quelled and quieted. As most of you know, my family is somewhat musically inclined. Music is a very special thing to me. I recently heard “How Firm a Foundation. The words calm me and renew my focus and determination. But one verse from the hymn rings in my mind frequently. “Fear not, I am with thee, Oh be not dismayed. For I am thy God and will still give thee aid”. The spirit overwhelms me with peace and courage to fulfill the calling the Lord has set forth for me when I think of that verse. I’m grateful for that small, yet powerful prompting of comfort.

I’d now like to take this opportunity to bear my testimony in my mission’s native language. I bear witness that this is the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I’ve grown exponentially over the past couple of years and really begun to understand myself, my family, Heavenly Father, the Gospel, and my potential if I’m faithful to the covenants I’ve made with the Lord. I’ve seen the effects of the Atonement in my life and the lives of others. I’ve felt Christ’s grace and love in my heart.

I know the Church is true. I know it within every part of me. I love our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I love this ward and for the blessing it has been to have grown up around such wonderful people. I wish all of you the very best while I am gone. I love each and every one of you. I pray that I’m blessed with the opportunity and privilege to return home to the Central Point First Ward. In a short time, I will depart home and leave behind all that I know. But through the Lord I know all things are possible, and that if I dedicate myself and give all that I have to offer, I will be sustained.

I don’t know what the future holds for me, I don’t know my success or my failures to come. But what I do know is that I’ll be loved no matter what. I’m thankful for my family and for the love and support they have given me throughout my life, even when I most certainly didn’t deserve it. I’m thankful for the examples of so many to help bring me to this point in life, for their service to the Lord and their honor in keeping their covenants. I hope to honor all of you by doing all that I can to honor the Lord and His name.

It is my prayer that each of us honors our Father in Heaven by doing all that we can to serve Him. Be the best you can be. I leave you now these words, with my testimony, and my love for all you…In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Welcome!

2008-05-26T22:36:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody! I thought it would be cool if everybody could keep up with how things will be going with me during my mission. I've asked my mother to post my weekly letters and to provide some updates for everybody! Check back every week for updates!